By Eric Van Vleet
We never had a television before in France and so passed our screen time either with Netflix or podcasts. This time around, our rental has basic cable so we have become anthropologists exploring the French TV ‘culture’. While most shows are either unintelligible or unappealing to us, we stumbled upon on one true gem: Un dîner presque parfait (A Nearly Perfect Dinner). Here is the hyperlink to watch it. It’s a free and amusing French lesson! 
Un dîner presque parfait is a French reality TV cooking competition that pits five contestants, none of whom who usually know each other, all from the same city who take turns throwing a themed dinner party. Their peers judge them on a scale of 1-10 based on three criteria: 1. Food, 2. Table decoration and 3. Ice-breaker/game (animation). Each meal includes an aperitif (drink and small bites), entrée (the starter/appetizer), plat (main course) and dessert. Contestants judge each other periodically throughout the night in a secret location, so the host does not exactly know their ratings. Only at the end of the five days are the scores revealed often to shock and awe, anger and joy. There is often a lot of emotion for a 1000 Euro prize.
The show gets surprising mileage out of such a simple and repetitive concept. Watching it, a television anthropologist can learn surprising things about France, or at least those willing to be on the show. You soon learn how many people are striving to become D-list French celebrities. The show has featured dating show contestants, other reality TV stars, a former Miss France and actors/comedians who often flail in the kitchen, as they are only marginally famous in France for anything but their cooking skills. 
These “celebrity” exceptions aside, you learn that there are generally some really talented home cooks who come on the show who have no interest in becoming reality TV celebrities. Watching them work is a pleasure. Their menus are often shockingly ambitious and it is not rare that they appear to pull them off. You also learn that these wannabe chef contestants have an amazing collection of silicon baking devices in many shapes, immersion blenders, reusable whipped cream dispensers (siphon), agar-agar powder, blow torches, pastry bags with different tipped nozzles, digital scales and many other kitchen toys. Whenever contestants have such equipment, the quality of food is remarkably high. If amateurs are cooking this well, there is no doubt why the overall quality of food in France remains so high.
You also learn that among these contestants there is an oddly causal form of racism/exoiticism that is often somehow innocent, but no less startling. Twice contestants have had “Mexican”-themed dinners that were about as authentic as a similar dinner party as hosted by Trump. They seem to expect their host to be dressed up like Mariachi and speak in a Speedy Gonzalez accent. The food as well is less authentic than Taco Bell, but is a hit as long as it is not too spicy for a French palate that often does not endure any heat. When throwing a dinner party based on a faraway country, the lesson from the show seems to be go really broad as possible in order to woo your invitees.
Even with France’s economic slump being central issue of the upcoming elections, there are still a surprising number of unemployed contestants on the show. These unemployed people range from 20 to even 50-years-old. Maybe they are hoping that they can twist their TV appearance into a job. The editing of the show does not really allow us to learn much about any one contestant, save for what they say on their day’s show. Still, it is odd that about every other week there is at least one unemployed contestant and nothing is really said about it at all.
After so many episodes Lili and I couldn’t help but to have picked up some tips on how to throw a successful televised and themed French dinner party. First, keep the atmosphere light, fun and preferably flirty. Second, don’t spend your time only worrying about the food. The ice-breaker/activity and decorations are just as important and are too often overlooked. Third, the most successful ice-breakers include some kind of movement and competition or can be an educational activity about food. Each routinely get high scores. Fourth, for the food, do not pin your hopes on people liking fish, there not being vegetarian or that most like meat cooked rare.
Fifth, smoked salmon or avocado and shrimp make great appetizers while and chocolate ganache poured in molds for dessert is always a crowd pleaser. Sixth, do not keep your guests waiting too long between courses and make sure that the food arrives hot. Seventh, the French are obsessed with food not being too heavy. Keep it light, but keep them fed. With these tips you could win on Un dîner presque parfait. They have had a few Americans on the show, though no American has yet won. If you follow our tips, you may just be the one to do so!
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