In Search of the Perfect Full English Breakfast (We Found it in Scotland)

By Eric Van Vleet

Somerset Maugham, the author of The Razor’s Edge and many other classic works not adapted for film with Bill Murray as the lead, said of the English breakfast: “To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day.” In our three months there, Lili and I found a special love, almost an obsession for finding the perfect full English (British) breakfast. In every town where we spent any time in England, Scotland and Wales we would search one out. There is something magical about the combination of bacon (though it is not like American bacon and instead is a thick cut country ham or “Canadian” bacon), black pudding (blood sausage), thick pork sausages, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, baked beans, bread and an optional hash brown. Even in its more mediocre renditions, we would leave satisfied. The whole is more than sum of its parts somehow. In order to wash it all down, you usually get either a coffee or English breakfast tea, which are often included in the price. As you can imagine, these breakfast behemoths will power a full day of sightseeing. As it costs only five to ten quid, it is the best food bargain available in Britain.

With so many components you can see how difficult it is to construct the perfect full English/Welsh/Scottish/Irish breakfast. While inexpensive places seemed to all used the same sausage, whose casing was an unappealing cigar color, others realized the importance of the sausage and worked with local butchers to provide incredible ingredients. The British skill with sausage is something to behold, even for a Francophile. Often the less ambitious places would pay scant attention to the black pudding and bacon, with the latter sometimes being too chewy and unappealing. The meat then, was mainly a question of quality. Either the breakfast spot really cared or seemed to order it from the same generic English breakfast factory.

While the mushrooms were never forest mushrooms and the tomatoes were the supermarket variety, the eggs, bread and beans offer many choices. You can choose usually between scrambled, poached or fried eggs depending on your preferences. The fried egg though, seemed to be the safest bet, as the blood pudding could be dry and a person could have a kind of sauce for it from the yolk. They would usually have the standard white or wheat toast, or a magical idea, fried bread, which is bread fried in butter or pork fat. Just in case the full English breakfast is not substantial enough, the fried bread will get you there. Finally there are the baked beans. While it seemed like few places made them in house, they were either served in a little lake on the plate or in a small ramekin. The beans too can provide an important source of moisture if any of the other components are dry. That being said, the restaurant will provide ketchup, seemingly without any noticeable judgement, which I took them up on all the time without fear of being called a crass American. Don’t worry we will show that the English at times have no shortage of crassness either.

During our first full English, we found a relaxed cafe in London that was run by Italians. Lili was amazed by the coffee so we stayed for the breakfast. Even in posh London, though, we could not fully escape America. There on the plate was an entire all beef Costco hot dog-- the same one you get for $1.50 with a soda. The lady assured us that it was voted best sausage in the world. Though they are great for a hot dog, I wondered in what world that was the best sausage. Another memorable full English was in the gorgeous university town of Norwich. We had just finished our first week of WWOOF-ing, the hardest week we would have as it was fueled by small portions of vegan food. It was a cool rainy morning and we ducked into the first place we could find. It was like reassurance on a plate. Every component was good but nothing was a standout, but it was true comfort food. All was not vegan and we would be powered for the next days of farm work with that breakfast.

The best breakfast of all was not the full English, but the full Scottish at the Edinburgh Larder. No Costco sausage, no Heinz baked beans. They put care into the selection of all the products. They had a small selection of some good Scottish craft beer as well. So why not enjoy a Scotch ale with the full Scottish breakfast? I did. Their brownies were heavenly as well. Having a hearty breakfast in Edinburgh is all the more important considering the sheer number of amazing places to taste Scotch whisky. It is a city made for walking as it has some of the most beautiful architecture on the island in one of its most beautiful backdrops.

While we survived on tea and muesli most days on the farms, any time we left the farms we would head almost immediately to a breakfast spot for the full English treatment. While I doubt anyone eats it everyday, had we had access to them, it would have been hard to pass up. Even more, I would like to take on the Somerset Maugham challenge and have three a day.